See l33 ramble. Ramble, l33, ramble.

[xifeng]

Y'know, I got back on the Meds Bandwagon after falling off it, and the first thing my hormones did once I slapped on the estrogen patch was induce a mood swing which has lasted for the past couple-three days. I am not like this. I am not a horrible, weepy, histrionic Thing that feels like crying for no reason. I refuse to be this godawful sobby wuss. Refuse.

I am now seriously considering telling my doctor that I want to go off the estrogen, since I really only tolerate it because it helps my hair and would keep evil crotchdumplings from forming were I to take complete leave of my senses and start sleeping with men again. I don't want to be without some form of birth control, because I don't know what's going to happen in the future and the fact that I think abortion is okay does not equate to my wanting to actually have one, and I'd rather prevent than remediate anyway. That said, I don't see why it has to be this. If Depo's not too horrifically expensive, I might ask about that.

Or I might re-indicate a desire for sterilization so that I don't have to worry about it ever, but I would like to have my hair back plz kthx. While it's still dark.

But the estrogen? Turns me into something that I don't recognize and never want to be.


*

Note for Highly Sensitive People: For the love of all that is holy, please, please, please grow a thicker skin. Welcome to scenic Reality, where it is not about you OR your Pweshus Feeeeewings, and where contrary to popular belief, not everything is a personal affront. I'm sick of constantly kowtowing to you and trying to soothe your ruffled feathers, and I'm not doing it anymore.

Oh, and rather than kiss all your boo-boos better, I really, really enjoy making it difficult for you horrible overgrown bawlbabies to live. It makes me feel like I've really done something worthwhile with my life.

And if one of you reads this and decides to share your feelings with me, expect to be summarily mocked.