xifeng: (Default)
Here, feel free to control my actions from afar, since [livejournal.com profile] pixelation once stated a desire to vote on more aspects of my existence.

[Poll #1606614]

In ttly unrelated news, I was reading old e-mail from H last night, and I could smile. I think I'll always be a little sad, because of what's gone, but mostly I could remember it for what it was and smile.
xifeng: (OMG YAY)
Here are some other things that happened while I had no Int0rbuttz:

All beings shall know the bounty of my produce, and also some stuff about samurai! )


May. 2nd, 2010 01:21 am
xifeng: (OMG YAY)
So the sequence of events goes like this:

1.) H leaves.
2.) I watch a shitton of chanbara films as part of the healing process.
3.) I develop a stupid crush on Toshiro Mifune and will not shut up about it.
4.) I make the icon featured above.
5.) Everybody defriends me.

That is all. XD
xifeng: (I'm in your mug scalding your crotch)
Dear Red Cross: I will donate to help the people of Chile when I get paid. But I'm not getting paid for several more days, and when I do, I have some First World problems to take care of, viz. my car and credit card payment. After that, we'll see; I'm sure I can scrape something up for you. Love, l33.

I can't help hoping that H is okay, what with recent tsunami activity, even though I'll likely never find out whether that hope is misplaced or not. Famous last words: "This will probably be the last time I talk about H in public". Lololol @ me.

This section has been cut for your protection. Also, TMI. )

The exciting rundown of my exciting week! )

Plans for the immediate future: Eat dinner (chicken with balsamic peppers, mmm, also mashed potatoes with mascarpone cheese, mmm); continue to clean den; complete FAFSA. The Indiana state deadline has changed since the last time I filled out a FAFSA; it's now 10 March. My goal is to have it mailed by the 3rd. (I know I can do it electronically, but it's easier for me not to. Yes, I am a Luddite that way.)

So. How is everybody out there in Int0rbuttzland?
xifeng: (hoes doing crazy shit)
I took the car for an oil change this morning (finally) and asked them to take a look at the shocks and brakes. The shocks are fine, thankfully, but the front brakes needed new pads. Good-bye, paycheck! What fun we could have had together! Seriously, I would have liked to build up some savings or something, but obviously that wasn't going to happen this month. (Also, they came up with a whole laundry list of stuff that probably needs to be done, and I can't say I disagree with it in principle, but I don't have a grand to drop on the car right now, so I guess it's going to be little by little. I knew some of this was stuff that I was on borrowed time with already--f'rinstance, the battery is the battery that was in the car when I bought it, but I think I can nurse it through another month if I have to.)

Trip to Salem: Not happening this weekend.

Fun DIY project: Also not happening this pay period.

On the other hand, I did call my insurance company and found out that Depo is covered, so YAY. This is good as the impending Crimson Tide did in fact arrive and now I just have to make an appointment and get the prescription filled WHEEYAY. :DDDD

I really, really wish H were still around.
xifeng: (Default)
The weirdest thing happened today, y'all.

So remember where I couldn't get stuck last week? I finally went today and had the bloodwork done at the hospital in Newburgh (nearest insurance-approved lab), and inevitably had some Vein-Finding Issues, which came out all right in the end. But while I was checking in, I gave the nice middle-aged lady behind the desk my insurance card and verified my vital stats and all that, and presently she asked me, "Is there someone we can contact in case of emergency?"

Names edited to protect my innocent parent and her not-so-innocent ex-husband. )

I just watched Seven Samurai again for the umpteenth time. (Remember: You're going to die, so man up, go in with both swords swinging, and die like a samurai.) If I grow up, I want to be Kyuzo (Miyaguchi Seiji), especially if a cute kid like Katsushiro (Kimura Isao) fanboys me all the time. Seriously, Katsushiro has got the biggest guy crush on Kyuzo. One of my favorite scenes is where he's burbling cheerfully on to Kikuchiyo (Mifune Toshiro), who's then like, "Whatevs, kid. Stfu."

Also: speshful thanks to [livejournal.com profile] forgottensanity for spam (moar kittens plz!). I must now scroll down to see H's old e-mail. (I am not going to delete it because I have deleted e-mail from former partners before and still regret it. It is part of my history, even if it's in the past, and being a historian, I like to have all my materials.)

Oh, and my paper lantern arrived today. WIN.
xifeng: (Default)
I've answered all my LJ comments, which means H's most recent e-mail has floated towards the top of my Gmail again, which dredges up pretty much everything I don't want to think about. And when my awesome paper lantern arrives so I can get excited and fix up some kind of workspace (and Get Serious About Writing Shit, I guess), I'll delete the order confirmation and shipping e-mails, so then it'll be at the top of my e-mail. Plz feel free to spam the hell out of me. (I am a dilatory correspondent at best, especially if I know LJ is among the fastest ways to get ahold of you, so I don't really want to promise that I'll write back, but I'll make a manful stab at it.)

Also, I have put Rashomon at the top of my Netflix queue because the two stages of grief are Samurai Movies and Acceptance. I like my model of the stages of grief better, anyway. Though "grief" may not be an appropriate word, since it's not like H died or anything.

I am trying not to have any panic in re: omg what if the Provera doesn't work, but since I think I felt the beginnings of cramps today, that's probably an unfounded fear. I am not looking forward to this, y'all.
xifeng: (Default)
This is, basically, a giant brain dump, because I can't be arsed to post on a regular basis. For that, I apologize. Perhaps I will manage to get my shit together by January.

The Universe: ERROR

BREAKING SHIT is my power! )

OVERANALYSIS is my power! )


BLATANT GREED is my power! )

[livejournal.com profile] uigenna: RAIEN. RAIEN. RAIEN. I have hopped on but not seen j00. Also, I have most of Friday and most of Saturday free (though I do have to work for a few hours in the evening). Just FYI. I do want to play with j00!
xifeng: (Default)
I realize I've been Inexcusably Out of Touch for the past couple of weeks, and I'm sorry, but my life is conspiring to destroy me with fire for the most part. [livejournal.com profile] uigenna, I promise to hop on and play with teh j00 sometime this week (let me check my schedule). Highlights:
+ I survived Black Friday '09. It wasn't as horrible as last year. I still fully intend for it to be my LAST Black Friday.
+ Thanksgiving was delicious. We got a smaller turkey than we're used to, so there's not much in the way of leftovers after a pot of delicious turkey noodle soup and my famous turkey chili pie (with cornbread topping). :9
+ I now have "More, More, More" by Andrea True on MP3, and it makes me unreasonably happy considering that it's so horribly '70s and would not be out of place on a pr0n soundtrack. (No real surprise, since Andrea True was a porn star.)
+ Speaking of pr0n, I have a whole bunch of romance-and-pr0n meta I might formulate into some coherent bloggery once I figure out what I'm trying to say with it.
+ In the same general league, I had a dream last night that I let myself into H's apartment, only to suggest, once he was home, that we get to the fucking. I woke up before any actual fucking took place, and because it was a fairly real-seeming dream, I was mildly surprised to discover that I was in my own bed. Jesus, I need to get some action or I'm going to go nuts. Perhaps I already have.
+ I have an idea for something I want to write, but I have to let it percolate because it's based on a fairy tale and significant plot elements would have to be finessed in order for it to make sense in my retelling. This makes me crazy.
+ My abs really hurt from starting the 200 Situps program. You use your abs for everything, as I discovered when I did such things as cough only to feel some intense aching in those particular muscles. Owfux.


Oct. 20th, 2009 06:19 pm
xifeng: (Default)
Still no home Internet. Long, ordealy story here, but basically, we had to order a part (TWICE) and now there seems to be some kind of line issue so hopefully the tech will be out tonight to fix it and I can make the next post at my leisure from my home and do things like shop for underwear at 2 a.m. if I feel like it. Due to no Internet, nobody has received any e-mail (nor, probably, will s/he, since I haven't got time at the moment).

I have some Photoshopped crap, since I've been shooping like crazy, but of course I have no way to get it to the intended recipients.

I am reasonably sure that at this point H is wondering what has become of me and/or has run off with a mandolin player from the Philippines. I don't fault him. In fact, I'll drop him a few lines.

You may now resume your regular schedule.
xifeng: (Default)
Thanks to everyone who posted condolences; I'm in the process of replying individually, though I don't promise that there's any creativity there. I mean, what else can you say besides "Thanks for caring"?

Joy and I went out for lunch on Saturday--I kind of needed to talk to someone who had been through it too, and also I wanted to flog off the opened litter and food on her. (I'm probably going to donate the unopened food and litter; I'm told it will keep for quite a while.) Afterwards, I went to the free zoo PetSmart, only to find that the local Humane Societies were having their adopt-a-thons out front. The Posey Co. Humane Society, which was Callice's shelter of origin, was there, and I chatted briefly with the volunteers; they let me hold one of their cat therapists, who was very amenable to being held and handled and petted, and was also very interested in licking my fingers. (I'd had a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch, and most of his efforts were invested in trying to get that sandwich. Unfortunately, I had eaten it.) Looked at the contents of PetSmart; fish and crabs are cool, but decidedly lacking in the pettability department.

The computer is still in the shop. 4 srs. We're ringing them up tomorrow if we don't hear back by the end of the day. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. WE HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR NEW COMPUTER. I would like to write e-mails to H that aren't five lines long and don't say things like "I'll write a proper reply when I get my computer back."

I have worked for six days straight (I haven't gone in to work today, but am scheduled to do so), have let chores and other things fall by the wayside since I've had a sick cat for the past couple of weeks, and am very much looking forward for my day off tomorrow.

♥ Back later, as ever.
xifeng: (Default)
COMPUTER update: Still not back from the shop. They're getting a civil, but pointed, telephone call if there's no word on its status by the end of today. I'm using the library's computer to obsessively play and replay Star Wars Gangsta Rap approximately 1928571957 times.

CAT update: Callice has a vet's appointment for Thurs. She seems to be improving; I brought her food into the living room, which got her to eat more, and she has moved outside of her corner today (once to try to take a dump on the living room carpet, which I yelled at her and chased her for--she may be sick, but I don't believe she's unable to control her bowels). Apparently she can still bolt for the litter box when she's pushed to it. Anyway, I'm more hopeful about her prognosis than I was Sunday, so.

+ Called my insurance agent this afternoon; he thinks he can sell me an E&O policy but isn't sure since it's not something a lot of people request. He'll let me know on the morrow.
+ When one is wearing one's hair in two ponytails, as I currently am, it is impossible to be too down. I feel like an anime character. It is awesome. :D
+ H is, as ever, my support and my unpaid therapist. ♥

To whom it may concern: You know I'll fucking win, because I'll fight to the end. You won't believe your eyes once my fortunes rise.
xifeng: (Default)
Good things:
+ I have new earrings. The 'Mart clearanced a whole bunch of them. I don't get a discount on anything that's been clearanced, but they're cheap enough that it doesn't matter.
+ Lol-Mart only wasted 4½ hours of my time tonight, and I have short shifts until my next day off.
+ I started to get back on the wagon with eating properly.
+ The Shell station is hiring; it's nothing fancy or anything I really want, but it would be full-time, which I need, and it would be overnights, which I can deal with.
+ I have batteries for my CD player.
+ I find it really entertaining that, because I have Latin (the language) listed as an interest on my profile, the ads are all like, "MEET LATIN BEAUTIES FIND THE LATIN WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS!!!!." Lololol.
+ Hey, [livejournal.com profile] jurhael, I don't know if you remember this Sue-we stumbled upon her a few years back during your HoND period-but she finally got sporked, if you haven't seen it yet.

And now, a MEME )

l33 Lives

Sep. 4th, 2009 12:40 am
xifeng: (Default)
O hai thar Delilah. I'm back.

I don't know that I'm doing 100% better. The job situation still hasn't improved (though I've gotten two raises, one cost-of-living and one performance-based), and, consequently, neither has the financial situation (though I'm not doing as badly as I could be, given the circumstances). I'm still in therapy (big surprise, I obviously have some issues to work through). Mom still hasn't got a job, and that weighs on us. (She was up for a job, made it to the second-interview round, and was in the hiring company's top three candidates…and they picked someone else. Well, I wish them joy of their vastly inferior employee.)

On the other hand: I've lost some weight (part one in a bazillion-part series), am generally eating better most of the time (I really fell off the wagon this week, though), and am exercising more regularly. I'm less socially isolated than I had been. (I am so bad at meeting people in real life. SO BAD. Trufax.) I'm still getting interviews, so obviously I'm doing something right. And damn it, I miss my friends.

Events of the past two months behind the jump, if anybody cares. Shit no one cares about! )

In conclusion: back now. Hi.
xifeng: (Default)
I really should get off my ass and go out pounding the pavement. But you know, I did that yesterday and I'd like some time off for today, especially since I'm off tomorrow and I'm probably going to be too busy during the rest of the week. I would like to figure out some way to stave off the guilt later on, though.

It's been more or less grey and gloomy; on the plus side, the irises are starting to bloom, so the backyard is a vast expanse of green with dots of red and purple here and there (the tulips are up as well, and I think so are the hyacinths, but they may be starting to wilt).

We've been cooking more, which is one of the better consequences of recent events, and about the only thing that doesn't ttly suck ass. The lolmom's making rye bread; we're having zucchini quiche for dinner tonight, and last night we had SHELLS STUFFED WITH SPINACH AND CHEESE FUCK YES. This is fair enough since we're probably living on leftovers for the rest of this week.

H wrote and showered me with some of his insecurities, which I guess is fair enough. I'm constantly being told that not many people are like me.

([livejournal.com profile] imperfectkatoru): Sorry about the other night. I'd forgotten that AIM was set up to turn on automatically when one logs on the Int0rbuttz, so didn't tell Mom, which is what happened there.)

Also, congratulations to [livejournal.com profile] dethorats! You're a REAL adult now! XD

I am kind of in a chatty mood lately, or at least a little more prosocial than I usually am, so maybe there will be some LJ posts that aren't goddamn Twitter entries. Also, I may be more with the social networking and interaction and whatnot. (This inevitably leads into my apologizing to everybody I've got friended on my neglected Goodreads account, because TTL BOOKSPAM BBY.) We'll see. I've had a powerful RP itch lately.
xifeng: (Default)
(Note to everybody who isn't Hiro: I did not cut most of this because nothing is more fun than probably making an ass of myself in public. That's what Valentine's Day is for. Plus, this is my journal so I can totally do this to you if I want. Deal.)

This entry sucks. I used to be able to write beautiful letters, or at least letters that didn't sound vaguely sarcastic and patronizing when I tried to talk about this stuff. I don't know if it's because I was more articulate when I was younger, or if it's because I was still buying into all the extraneous shit and I thought that was something that had to go with it. This isn't beautiful at all, but it's still real, and that's enough for me, and it's probably enough for you too.

It's like this. We weren't meant to be together; if we'd been born a hundred years earlier, we'd each have lived out our separate lives on distant shores and died without ever even knowing the other existed, so it's blind dumb luck that we were both born in the late 20th century and both had access to the Internet. And as you know, I am entirely capable of living without you, since I managed for 25 years before I met you. And it's not like we're the first people in the history of everything to ever be interested in each other. I suppose if one looks at the whole thing objectively, it's been just one damn thing after another and in general a bloody mess, but I don't actually give a damn because I for one am happy with it. It's been such a comedy of errors, but if it were perfect, it would be boring.

I was going to write something terribly witty and articulate and brilliant, but the words just sort of turn to crap as soon as they come out of my head. And I know we've got solid reasons for not really doing anything about anything. And I know the stuff I sent you doesn't constitute any kind of lifelong sacred commitment (and no, you DON'T have to reciprocate), so I don't really expect you to see this as some sort of Public Announcement since I think my feelings are pretty clear anyway. (Lee: Subtle Like A Sledgehammer To The Occipital.) But you said last year, "...allow yourself to think this way sometimes, since no one's that strong, at least, I'm not," and I'm not either, so I sort of have to say this or I'm going to explode, you know how it goes, and you can take it in any sense you want and you probably won't be too far wrong.

Beautiful and tender sentiments abound beneath the cut! )

I know that sounds like a farce, but it's the truth. And that's all I've got to say.

Colon Blow

Jan. 27th, 2009 10:48 pm
xifeng: (Default)
For the benefit of [livejournal.com profile] carlosoliveira: lolol my brain, it took a dump. I promise this post will explain the reference to huge bowel movements in my Twitter feed.

Somewhere in here, we've got some real good poop jokes for you. )


Nov. 14th, 2008 04:00 pm
xifeng: (Default)
Preliminary: I don't really feel like being online now. I notice I don't miss it very much, not because I don't give a shit about you guys or because I suddenly h8 teh Int0rbuttz, but because I tend to self-anaesthetize with the Internet and it's not good for me to do that, and right now I just don't really want to be doing things online. I am sure everybody can suck it up and deal.

Below, plz find some Fun and Exciting Adventures (by which I mean nothing of the kind) that have happened.

Stuff )

Okay, I'm off. I'll be back if and when I feel like it. Efforts will be made to catch up with old comments.
xifeng: (big strong manly girls r00l!)
LOLMOM: *picks up book* Who was...*sounds out name carefully* Mi-ya-mo-to Mu-sa-shi? :D
l33: *is floored* Um...how can I explain this for someone with absolutely no frame of reference whatsoever...

Despite having lived with me for, like, ever, the lolmom remains blissfully ignorant in re: the matter of samurai. I have contemplated the ethics of educating her, because nobody should go through life without exposure to the ttl kickass that is samurai.

Check my bushido, yo. )

In today's exciting news: I had a run-in with a four-pack of energy drink and my work clothes now smell like SweeTarts on crack. Oh, and by the way, y'all, Lol-Mart is a place of BUSINESS, not a SOCIAL GATHERING. Seriously, one of my co-workers and I spent like half an hour this afternoon making fun of these people who flapped their yaps and almost cordoned off one of the register whilst so doing. I resorted to pretending I had laser eyes and mentally lasering the Lol-Mart logo and the smiley face (along with "EVERYDAY LOW PRICES, BITCH") into their backs, in the worst display of imaginary workplace carnage since 2000, when I was a samurai surrounded by 105 of the enemy's men and had no choice but to cut my way out. BITCHES DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY LASER EYES. Or about my bushido, for that matter.

Also, I think I might possibly have my last wisdom tooth or two coming in the back on the left side (yes, they're all firmly ensconced in my skull, where they belong. I didn't know most of them had erupted until I was in the dentist's chair, because I didn't feel anything). H was like, "Aren't you kind of old for wisdom teeth?", which are fine words from somebody who used to have an extra canine tooth.
xifeng: (Default)
Mom was right. People around here like their booze way too sweet. Ugh.

I have many elderly LJ entries that I really need to get to posting, and I shall endeavor to do so in a reasoned and controlled fashion so that nobody's friends page is spammed. More than usual, I mean, because I can be one with the spam if I'm bored enough. Anyway, "highlights" (put loosely) of the weekend, more because I am amused by them than for any other reason. I've thoughtfully placed them under a lj-cut. )

Also, I got a job. It's just part-time at the House of Wal, so I figure it'll be some income and an opportunity to engage in some rabble-rousing in the best Red tradition hone my customer-service skills. Plus, they have now required the dowdiest outfit EVAR for all employees: khakis and a navy blue polo shirt. The khakis don't bug me 'cause I like them, but I have to pull a navy blue polo shirt out of my ass (I own very little in navy blue and no polo shirts whatsoever) at some point in the duration, because I can't keep wearing the lolmom's forever, especially since it has her company logo on it. A navy blue polo shirt that I will in all probability never wear again after I quit this job.

My ultimate plan is to get a full-time job in addition to the Wal-Minionage, because I need insurance, my bills aren't paying themselves, and my move to Bloomington isn't financing itself either, so once this happens, batten the hatches and prepare for a lot of me being tired and bitchy and cursing myself all the time. Oh hot damn I am going to be so fucked when Christmas rolls around D:

At least it's a job and I'm not out of work for six months like I was last time, as those of you who were around in 2005 may recall.

Also, we are experiencing some technical difficulties! )

H wrote, which I may or may not talk about, and I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. [livejournal.com profile] forgottensanity, I'll try to get to you sometime this week, but as ever I make no promises.


xifeng: (Default)
Wang Xi-feng

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