The Dangerous Existence of Madame Lee

Hey guys. My monitor, which is elderly, is slowly dying and I can only take so much of it at one time (everything is green and blurry and I have to read text in 20 pt. bold font in a Word doc if I want to read it at all, also forget writing anything). I don't get paid until next week, so this is unfortunately a back-burner issue now; I'm trying to keep part of this paycheck back in case I need to have my brake pads and rotors replaced and not just adjusted like I'm expecting. (It may be later than next week; I do still have a car payment to make out of that check, though I'm hoping the 8 hours of overtime I'm putting in this week will help.) The library is not out of the question, but I dunno - I'm busy.

It's lolmom's computer, so I guess I could make her buy it, but since I use it more than she does, that just seems really shitty. There is also the part where Best Buy makes her disoriented and confused.

Anyway, nobody be too upset by radio silence plz. I'll be back as soon as I can see things on a screen again.

We had a Severe Thunderstorm that resulted in a limb falling off the Undead Zombie Tree, JUST MISSING the house and taking out the Internets. So I've been gone. The Internets were fixed about an hour ago. X-chan is here so I will catch up LATER. Nothing exciting happened here.

That's all!

★
l33

I am enduring a spate of nervous energy, for reasons that may eventually be revealed in the fullness of time. It is not likely to abate anytime soon. I will likely be on edge for a bit.

If you say OMG HI L33 and I respond with something like GRAR I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR HEAD, I apologize in advance but I am not sure if it is entirely avoidable.

Hey, galhea, sorry for cutting out on you last night. We had a minor-league thunderstorm and I lost my connection. Also, I had surprise cake for breakfast and it was indeed the greatest thing ever.

( A lot of blather about movies and some hefty fangirling under this cut )

Also, I am filled with loathing and disgust for this romance novel I am reading at present. Seriously, I realize that romance fans have certain expectations of the genre, just as I have certain expectations of fantasy or sci-fi or historical fiction or samurai movies, but just once it would be nice to read a romance that didn't reinforce traditional gender norms and roles, even while it's trying to tell me that it's up to date and empowering and feminist because the heroine has a high-powered career. (And mind you, I don't consider myself a feminist, but even so, a lot of the subtext in these novels makes it seem as though the heroine is only pursuing her high-powered career until she meets Mr Tall Dark Stereotype and they get married and she starts crankin' out the babies. Because love isn't complete without marriage and babies, y'all.)

Dude, if I had written this novel, which has an OH NOES UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY subplot, the hero would be all, "Look, if you decide to keep the baby, I'm more than willing to pay child support and be an involved father. But it's up to you to decide what you want to do about this, and I'll support you in whatever your decision is." Because to me, that's a lot more fuckin' sexy than the actual unsubtle harangue that appears in the book. Granted, I might feel very differently about it if I were pro-life.

Why do I read romance on occasion? For the lulz, and in the hope that I may actually find a book or two that's worth a re-read.

Also, because public shame is a big motivator for me:
( One final cut, I swear )

I realize I've been Inexcusably Out of Touch for the past couple of weeks, and I'm sorry, but my life is conspiring to destroy me with fire for the most part. uigenna, I promise to hop on and play with teh j00 sometime this week (let me check my schedule). Highlights:
+ I survived Black Friday '09. It wasn't as horrible as last year. I still fully intend for it to be my LAST Black Friday.
+ Thanksgiving was delicious. We got a smaller turkey than we're used to, so there's not much in the way of leftovers after a pot of delicious turkey noodle soup and my famous turkey chili pie (with cornbread topping). :9
+ I now have "More, More, More" by Andrea True on MP3, and it makes me unreasonably happy considering that it's so horribly '70s and would not be out of place on a pr0n soundtrack. (No real surprise, since Andrea True was a porn star.)
+ Speaking of pr0n, I have a whole bunch of romance-and-pr0n meta I might formulate into some coherent bloggery once I figure out what I'm trying to say with it.
+ In the same general league, I had a dream last night that I let myself into H's apartment, only to suggest, once he was home, that we get to the fucking. I woke up before any actual fucking took place, and because it was a fairly real-seeming dream, I was mildly surprised to discover that I was in my own bed. Jesus, I need to get some action or I'm going to go nuts. Perhaps I already have.
+ I have an idea for something I want to write, but I have to let it percolate because it's based on a fairy tale and significant plot elements would have to be finessed in order for it to make sense in my retelling. This makes me crazy.
+ My abs really hurt from starting the 200 Situps program. You use your abs for everything, as I discovered when I did such things as cough only to feel some intense aching in those particular muscles. Owfux.

I'm reasonably sure this is common knowledge, but if not: I'm childfree. I've never wanted children in my life, I didn't like them when I was one, I don't like them now, and working in an environment where a lot of them misbehave all at once really hasn't changed my mind. (Also, my DNA fucking sucks and we'd all be happier if another heapin' helping weren't unleashed on the world, and I REALLY DON'T LIKE KIDS and I HAVE REALLY VICTORIAN NOTIONS OF APROPRIATE CHILD-REARING PRACTICES to the point where I'd be one of those abusive parents I hate, so it's just better that I never go there in the first place.)

I should also mention that X-chan and I were not tantrum throwers as children; we were both pretty quick studies, and for both of us, the first time we chucked a fit was also the last.

Last night, I got to see a shining example of the tantrum raised to an art form. It was like the Mona Lisa of Screaming Your Goddamn Head Off For That All-Important Toy, Because You Are The Center Of The Universe. I can't do it justice with my humble little words, but I'll try, though I may need to use gimmicks like getting creative with font sizes. Also, there are many capslocks.

Also, an obligatory disclaimer: Behind the Counter is a lot funnier than I am.

I'm running...dun dun DAH DUN!...Register 7. You know, where they keep the cigarettes. So I can stare longingly at them at strategic points during my shift and fantasize, caressing them with my burning, myopic eyes, and think, "Man, my life would be so much better if I could go out to the lot and light one up after my shift. Like the good old days." This sort of thing makes duokinneas worry, because only Talyn can prevent lung fires (or thinks she can).

It's about 7:30 or 8:00 at night--typically when the kids are winding down, and small kids get kind of tetchy if they're out past their bedtime. I get this. I also realize that little kids are pretty much total pants at impulse control and sometimes need several reminders to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. I get this, too. It's annoying when I'm trying to check their parents out, but on the whole, most people make at least token efforts to discipline their children, and I can't get too pissed with toddlers for acting like toddlers.

( Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. )

Life news: The Undead Zombie Tree dropped limbs in the yard a couple of weeks ago, which mysteriously missed a.) the house, b.) the street, and c.) the power lines. We were without power for about 45 minutes, but didn't have the phone back up until about a week and a half ago. I had allergies. Whee.

Haven't really felt like being around much or doing anything; have been depressed, not getting better, finally bit the bullet and made initial appointment a week from Tuesday. There will be no therapy filter, and I likely won't be discussing it in any detail; I already use some of you as my unpaid therapists. (augustuscaesar, you can stop being on retainer now!)

Further bulletins as events warrant.