The Dangerous Existence of Madame Lee

We had a Severe Thunderstorm that resulted in a limb falling off the Undead Zombie Tree, JUST MISSING the house and taking out the Internets. So I've been gone. The Internets were fixed about an hour ago. X-chan is here so I will catch up LATER. Nothing exciting happened here.

That's all!

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l33

I'm reasonably sure this is common knowledge, but if not: I'm childfree. I've never wanted children in my life, I didn't like them when I was one, I don't like them now, and working in an environment where a lot of them misbehave all at once really hasn't changed my mind. (Also, my DNA fucking sucks and we'd all be happier if another heapin' helping weren't unleashed on the world, and I REALLY DON'T LIKE KIDS and I HAVE REALLY VICTORIAN NOTIONS OF APROPRIATE CHILD-REARING PRACTICES to the point where I'd be one of those abusive parents I hate, so it's just better that I never go there in the first place.)

I should also mention that X-chan and I were not tantrum throwers as children; we were both pretty quick studies, and for both of us, the first time we chucked a fit was also the last.

Last night, I got to see a shining example of the tantrum raised to an art form. It was like the Mona Lisa of Screaming Your Goddamn Head Off For That All-Important Toy, Because You Are The Center Of The Universe. I can't do it justice with my humble little words, but I'll try, though I may need to use gimmicks like getting creative with font sizes. Also, there are many capslocks.

Also, an obligatory disclaimer: Behind the Counter is a lot funnier than I am.

I'm running...dun dun DAH DUN!...Register 7. You know, where they keep the cigarettes. So I can stare longingly at them at strategic points during my shift and fantasize, caressing them with my burning, myopic eyes, and think, "Man, my life would be so much better if I could go out to the lot and light one up after my shift. Like the good old days." This sort of thing makes duokinneas worry, because only Talyn can prevent lung fires (or thinks she can).

It's about 7:30 or 8:00 at night--typically when the kids are winding down, and small kids get kind of tetchy if they're out past their bedtime. I get this. I also realize that little kids are pretty much total pants at impulse control and sometimes need several reminders to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. I get this, too. It's annoying when I'm trying to check their parents out, but on the whole, most people make at least token efforts to discipline their children, and I can't get too pissed with toddlers for acting like toddlers.

( Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. )

Life news: The Undead Zombie Tree dropped limbs in the yard a couple of weeks ago, which mysteriously missed a.) the house, b.) the street, and c.) the power lines. We were without power for about 45 minutes, but didn't have the phone back up until about a week and a half ago. I had allergies. Whee.

Haven't really felt like being around much or doing anything; have been depressed, not getting better, finally bit the bullet and made initial appointment a week from Tuesday. There will be no therapy filter, and I likely won't be discussing it in any detail; I already use some of you as my unpaid therapists. (augustuscaesar, you can stop being on retainer now!)

Further bulletins as events warrant.

1.) We done had another ice storm, which sucked ass, particularly the part where I couldn't get my eight hours in on account of the courthouse in Rockport was closed and also the part where the undead zombie tree continued to shed limbs. I like trees, don't get me wrong, but I'm convinced that one of these days, the undead zombie tree is going to kill somebody (preferably not me or m0mmy).

2.) We also done had a lunar eclipse, which rocked. Remarkable, isn't it, how at 6 p.m. the moon was like a big golden coin that I couldn't take my eyes off, and at 8 p.m. it had shriveled to a pale white fingernail sliver.

3.) Yesterday morning, I only realized I'd left my glasses in the bathroom after I'd already confined the cat, and I couldn't block the door quickly enough to stop her getting out. Freed from the fascist confines of the jakes, Callice tore up and down the stairs until she realized that I intended to chase, catch, and imprison her, and then she cunningly curled up in her Secret Hiding Place. (Which wasn't so secret, because all I had to do was peek around the corner and grab her.) To demonstrate her displeasure, she proceeded to drown her catnip turtle in her water bowl (I found it floating when I came home and changed her water; it was hysterical, in a macabre way). If she elects to drown her catnip fuzzy as well, she is not getting a new one.

4.) I have (finally) developed a(nother) Plan Of Action™, and may or may not be instituting a filter to talk about it. I'm not sure that anybody really needs or wants to read about it, but think it may actually succeed this time if I can only conquer my inherent laziness.

5.) Also I just finished reading Romances of Old Japan by one Ozaki Yuko; it was an enjoyable read and the pictures are beautiful. I was a bit disappointed at what I perceived to be a dearth of samurai, since THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SAMURAI as all know, I think samurai automatically make a book Great Literature. A samurai could totally have saved Born with the Century by William Kingsolver (possibly the worst book ever written), if only by adding a delightful WTF element.

6.) Speaking of samurai, I am in the process of writing a longer entry about how I read this one novel and took great exception to the author’s failure to learn what a word actually means. Don't worry, it'll be behind a cut so you can say to yourself, "Has Lee no other interests?" and skip it. I'm always thinking of things I can do to others.

7.) I should buzz my hair off Y/N? (My original plan was to have breast-covering hair, but I am cursed with wretched hair and am beginning to think that getting rid of all of it may be my only salvation.)