The Dangerous Existence of Madame Lee

1.) Dear body, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and hormonal birth control (also possibly the new implants in Fallopian tubes): Please decide whether we're menstruating or not, and act accordingly. I am tired of finding surprises in my underwear. Either bleed normally or don't bleed, I don't care, but pick one and stick with it.

2.) Dear brain and possible undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome: Just because there is Russian history does not mean we have to read it all like a goddamn spaz. This is how we got burnt out and--No. NO. STOP FLASHING BACK TO THE LIBRARY. WE WILL BE THERE AGAIN SHORTLY, PROBABLY ON MONDAY AFTER WORK. THIS IS MANY THINGS BUT NOT TRAGIC. Also, STOP FLASHING BACK TO THE SAN ANTONIO LIBRARY BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING THERE EVER AGAIN. That entire period of our life more or less sucked and had like three redeeming qualities, remember?...No, we don't need to be worried about what happened to the David King biography of Trotsky. Worst-case scenario, it's been withdrawn and we'll pick it up for like $1.35 at the Friends of the Library book sale. Or, you know, on Amazon.

Speaking of Amazon. CLOSE OUT THE AMAZON TAB. CLOSE IT OUT. NOW. WE'RE NOT GETTING BOOKS THIS WEEK. WE JUST BOUGHT CLOTHES (and spent way too much, but in fairness I did need bras and some more workplace-appropriate shirts and I had the money). NO BOOKS. NO BOOKS FOR WHINY BRAINS.

...Oh, fine. FINE. If I go upstairs and read some of The Prophet Armed or whatever, will that shut you up for five minutes?

3.) Dear flist: Back later.

+ I've received a second debit card in the mail. Basically: I didn't know the bank would automatically renew mine (this varies from bank to bank), so was sure to order a new one just before the old one expired. Today, I ripped open a letter from the bank only to find a shiny new debit card therein. I don't need two, so I expect to waste my first break tomorrow morning getting this sorted.

+ My physical was yesterday. Results are not in yet, which is typical (it takes the lab longer to look at a Pap than it does to look at blood), but I will spaz left to my own devices. I'm actually more stressed about the Pap than I am about the bloodwork, despite having no reason to feel that way; I have no history of abnormal Pap in lo these many years of having them done. It's just that this year I'm planning to finally break my ladybits, and I want to make sure that there are no underlying ladybits issues that need to be addressed first. The waiting is always a wrench. They'll call the house, so I expect to waste my second break tomorrow afternoon getting this sorted.

+ I was going to go to Bloomington this weekend. I am going to go get my brakes fixed instead. (They're probably not broken, but it's been a couple of years and I'd like to get them looked at and taken care of before reaching the point where I can't stop. Silly of me, but we all have our little idiosyncrasies.) I may only be able to get one set fixed this weekend, depending on what needs to be done and how much it's going to run me.

+ Next week at work, we go to a new time tracking system, meaning that we'll all have to be at work by 7:55 to clock in so that, after the startup dialogue takes 20 years to do its thing, the system will register the first punch of the day at 8:03. EFFICIENCY!

+ SO MANY FEELINGS. WHY ARE FEELINGS ALL BAD. ALSO WHY DID I QUIT SMOKING. The main thing I am feeling is how much my shoulders hurt and I don't like this very much, so it's probably time to fire up the bag-o-rice and go to bed.

Good things!

+ Lolmom is much more chipper than she was earlier this week, so hurrah. I know she kind of has to cycle through the beating-herself-up-about-all-this deal, but it is unpleasant to watch people do that and be unable to help in any concrete way, so I'm glad she's reached the point where she's like, "lol k, cans not undu. wat i du nau?".

+ So the space-time continuum doubled up on itself, and apparently there's an alternate universe somewhere where April 2011 was a really AWESOME, HIGH-VOLUME month and alternate universe l33 was pretty busy. Unfortunately for alternate universe l33, her incentive pay wound up on my paycheck. (...okay, the truth is that we all got an adjustment for volume because that wasn't our fault, but the alternate-universe thing is more entertaining than the truth.)

+ YOU GUYS OUR FIRST CSA PICKUP IS THIS WEEKEND~ Based on last year, I'm thinking we'll probably get some tatsoi and kale, but I can't think what else. I just remember the tatsoi, because there was a lot of it, and kale, because that was how I discovered that I actually LIKE kale, after previously believing that I did not. Oh, maybe we'll get some collard greens and mustard greens too.

+ HOKAI WE GOT THE MEDS SETTLED. I am taking 1500 mg for the next week and then going to 2000 mg, and then I'm supposed to ring them up and tell them how I'm doing, so this will apparently determine what my dosage is going to be in the next three months.

+ Hello, new LJ friends! Cookies now :D (Or, you know, something else if you're not that into cookies.) Feel free to ask me what the hell I'm talking about if you're confused/intrigued by the content here.

+ Hopefully tomorrow night will see THE MUMMY STORY. :D (If you already know what I'm talking about, you can help by keeping your mouth shut and waiting for the story.)

So I had bloodwork done today, and amazingly the nurse was able to draw blood on the first jab, which I was really thankful for as they tend to poke my arms until I look like a junkie and then ask if they can write me a lab order. (I am, apparently, the only person who sees any correlation between my not missing work and my continuing to have a job.) The results should be in by tomorrow, and I am trying not to freak out about OH MY GOD DIABETES EBOLA AIDS*. Intellectually, I know how ridiculous I'm being, but I'm not going to be happy until I know, and that may not be until Thursday because they'll probably call the house phone when I'm at work.

Also, the insurance refused to pay for this particular round of meds, as they think I am some kind of CRAZED METFORMIN ADDICT** who keeps going through them at the speed of light. What happened was this: I was on a lower dose. After my bloodwork came back from my physical in February, my doctor wanted to increase the dosage, but didn't write me a new prescription, probably because she didn't want to inconvenience me, so I was just told to ask them to call in a refill when the time came. I am now going through a bottle every two weeks, because that's how long it lasts on the increased dosage, and the insurance is all like, "NO. SHE CANNOT REFILL THEM UNTIL THE 13th." Well, you know what, insurance, that's real nice, but I'm out NOW, so I told the tech at Lolgreens that I would pay out of pocket this time (there's not a huge difference in insured vs. uninsured costs for metformin, thank God) and they can fax my doctor if they need to.

The insurance should be grateful that I am not diabetic (...we think) or I would be burning their ears.

In unrelated news, Oliver is pissed off because I made him go into the bathroom, and is whining and banging against things, even though this approach has never caused me to let him out in the past.

Lolmom is v. unhappy, but was able to get a rental and also the keys from her car. No word on the state of her car.


*Yes, I know diabetes is not as bad as ebola or AIDS. I still don't want it, though.
**Actually, I don't think you can become addicted to metformin, unless your physiology is way off. Not that I advocate this kind of thing, but you can, literally, take huge amounts of the stuff as an overdose and survive.

( A tedious body miscellany )

That's all, folks.

2:40: Go to bed.
7:00: Alarm goes off.
7:15: Finally get out of bed.
8:10: After showering, brushing teeth, getting makeup bag and jewelry together, grabbing interview outfit, moving ironing board, ironing shirt, burning arm, finally get out the door.
8:22: Realize that arm was burnt whilst ironing.
8:30: Lolgreens to pick up Depo syringe.
8:45: Doctor's office to get shot. Almost have meltdown in waiting room. Decide that do not have spoons for meltdown at the moment.
8:50: Get shot. Learn that have already scheduled next physical. Good job, nine-months-ago l33!
9:10: Arrive at Kinkos to print out PDF application for clerical-skillz tests. (Our printer is not compatible with Vista and I have yet to dig out mine, which is why it can't be done at home.)
9:20: Realize that do not have unexpurgated resumé in purse. Pay for printouts and drive back home.
9:45: Arrive at home. Check messages. Take down Title Lord's number, since we've been playing phone tag for almost a week. Finish filling out application from unexpurgated resumé, whilst changing clothes and getting made up.
10:25: Leave for interview.
10:58: Google Maps is a ditzy bitch who is apparently unaware that Mulberry Street (downtown Evansville) cannot be accessed from Riverside. Realize that will be late to interview. Try to call interviewer. Don't get through. Almost have meltdown, then decide that spoons for meltdown are not available.
11:10: Show up at test site, apologize profusely to tester, who is gracious. Take first battery of clerical-skillz tests.
11:30: Done with first round. Take typing test.
11:40: Done with typing test. Take Excel test.
11:50: Flub Excel test phenomenally, since have only ever used it for data entry and not to, like, balance books or whatever. Have been assured by tester that it is not a big deal. Also flub bookkeeping test, as no bookkeeping experience outside of balancing checkbook.
12:00: Asked if there is time for an interview. (When I agreed to come in for clerical-skillz tests, I was told it would only be a series of tests, and that if they decided to interview me they would call me in at a later date.) Interviewer inexplicably impressed by ability to type, alphabetize, spell, do math with assistance of adding machine.
12:30: Drive to library; dump books, change pants and shoes in bathroom. Call Title Lord; leave message with cell phone number. Tag!
1:00: Call lolmom, tell her not to panic if do not arrive home before she leaves for work. Enter bookstore. Plan to not buy anything.
1:15: Title Lord calls whilst in middle of Russian history section. Arrange phone interview for tomorrow morning, become person you hate who yaps on her cell phone at cafés. NOT WORKING AT LOL-MART IS SRS BSNS U GAIZ, I AM NOT GOING TO MISS THIS PHONE CALL.
1:25: Fail spectacularly at not buying anything, though srsly needed Everyday Life in Traditional Japan for Legitimate Scholarly Pursuits and was going to buy The Last Days of the Romanovs anyway. Money is there, though. Also, fuck Lol-Mart for not carrying my magazines anymore. Also also, Archaeology has entire feature article on Etruscans.
1:30: Arrive IHOP. HAVE BEEN WAITING THREE WEEKS FOR IHOP YOU GAIZ. AT LEAST.
2:19: Sated with biscuits, gravy, drive home.
2:48: Arrive home. Find lolmom, yap at her. Learn that X-chan is en route to new job in Tennessee, might come up on Saturday and join us for lolmom's birthday lunch. Yay!
3:38: Arm really, really sore from Depo.
4:05: Get on Int0rbuttz. Find something that really, really did not want to read, refrain from making snide remarks (appease inner asshole by typing them all out on Notepad and closing file without saving), as do not have available spoons for meltdown, fight. Play Text Twist but do not really enjoy it.
6:12: Momentarily writers-blocking, will get over it. Afraid to respond to e-mail/LJ comments because afraid of being a complete and total bastard to correspondents. Will have to respond anyway.

I am EXHAUSTED. Also I DID NOT ASK FOR either a UTERUS or any SINUSES and DO NOT PARTICULARLY WANT EITHER ONE RIGHT NOW. I do not understand WHERE ALL THIS SNOT IS COMING FROM since I have been popping DAYQUIL all day. Is there some sort of PROCEDURE via which my sinuses might be CAUTERIZED or otherwise TAMPERED WITH so that they can NEVER PRODUCE MUCUS AGAIN? Seriously, it is not like POLLEN is going to DO ANYTHING to me.

This SUCKS ASS. I am GOING to BED before I have a GIANT SCREAMING MELTDOWN. Moreover, I APOLOGIZE for any REGRETTABLE but UNAVOIDABLE ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR on my part.

1.) There's a Super Sekrit postdated post just before this one, so if it's screwing up anybody's flist, I apologize. But I'm not sorry enough to remove the post because I need my project list up to shame me at all times.

2.) Stock rant about internal reproductive organs I'm going to cut out and eat, except with my luck they wouldn't even taste good no matter how much olive oil and garlic I dumped on them.

I think I may be shaping up for another six-week period. Just when I thought I had stopped, too.

FML.

By any objective standard, my life hasn't been very entertaining of late, but I'm feeling chatty, so you're stuck with this post. Read it and squee, or don't.

+ I actually have some money left over after bills are paid. I am totally buying a few things. Like a dress, which I don't need, and some new tank tops, which I can technically justify, and more Samurai Deeper Kyo, which I can't but it's cheap.
+ My period has finally stopped. ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.
+ I have an arm full of yet moar Depo, and my bloodwork was just like "keep taking your meds, k?". Since I flip out every time my insulin levels have to be checked, this is a good thing.
+ At the end of last month, the lolmom bought a half-share in Seton Harvest, the only CSA in our immediate area. Today was our first pickup, and we are rolling in produce. We have green leaf lettuce, some garlic shoots (the green parts cut off the top so the bulbs can grow larger), kale, radishes, two green onions of unusual size, and something whose name I forget but which is a member of the cabbage family and resembles bok choy. Immediate plans for all this bounty include a salad with some of the lettuce and radishes (also avocado and roast corn, since corn at the 'Mart is like twenty-five cents an ear) and stir fry with beef, green onions, and bell peppers. I have no idea what we're going to do with the kale; I don't like kale, but I'm willing to give it the old college try. Lolmom doesn't know if she likes kale or not, so this will be interesting. Food faggotry ftw!
+ Two more days and then I'm off.
+ I saw The Twilight Samurai the other night. Despite the dearth of Toshiro Mifune, it was made of awesome and win, as anything based on the work of Fujisawa Shuhei should be. I got a little teary in parts SHUT UP IT'S PERFECTLY FINE TO CRY OVER A SAMURAI MOVIE IT DOESN'T COMPROMISE MY MASCULINITY.
+ I have a fun new RP going, in which I play Mr Meanypants, and may possibly have another fun new RP going shortly.
+ In conclusion, OMG YAY.