The Dangerous Existence of Madame Lee

Everything is exponentially better in my beautiful hometown, Bloomington, including the odds that I wouldn't have to go to work tomorrow if I were living there at present, because the Icepocalypse cometh to central Indiana. From what I hear, they're not predicting an Icepocalypse '11 for us down in the Evansville area (sorry for rubbing it in, the_dark_snack and rest of the Indy crew), but it is windy as shit currently and every time something smacks against the house I keep worrying that the Undead Zombie Tree is finally going to snap and eat some brains, or that the car will get hurt (NOOOOOO), or that the Internets will go out which would SUCK since we just got the computer back. People have been making noises about OMG THE TEMPERATURE WILL PLUMMET 20 DEGREES AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO ICE OVER, but I'm frankly not sure about that. (According to weather.com, it's just going to plummet 30 degrees and we're not supposed to get hammered that bad, but the weatherman is always a pathological liar so your guess is as good as mine on that one.)

Oliver is in the bathroom, where he spends the night until we are SURE that he is house-trained and won't destroy everything in sight, and the sounds of things banging against the house are freaking him out; I can hear him trying to get out of the bathroom in a FUCKIN' DOORS, HOW DO THEY WORK? manner. I feel really bad for the little guy, but I know if I let him out and let him sleep in the bed with me, he's going to get it in his head that all he has to do is act sufficiently distressed to be let out of the bathroom. Also, I sleep with my door closed, and I don't want my nice warm bed covered in cat byproducts, kthx. (Also also, whilst kittens are adorable, I don't want to play with them at two in the morning when I could be getting another three hours of sleep.) Poor kit.

I need to get back on the wagon as far as minimal levels of functioning go. Goddammit, l33, don't be a useless waste of space.

Some belated shout-outs: Yo, dethorats! Just a note to say that the package came a few days ago, and was opened with many noises of delight. :D I look forward to Bomba the Jungle Boy, in a hip, postmodern misappropriation-of-The-Boys'-Own-Paper sort of way, as you have your finger eerily on the pulse of my literary tastes.

Also, while I'm going "yo" at people, yo to beldar and the_dark_snack, both of whom I met once, whose card came a day or two ago. The Penguin Fairy of Joy is welcome in my home any time, and can no doubt kick the Bluebird of Happiness' ass. (As we're fond of saying at my house, "But what this scene REALLY needs…is a PENGUIN.")

I finally got a new cellphone. I'm doing the pay-as-you-go thing, because right now the last thing I need is another bill to worry about. Anyway, should there be intermittent disruptions in twittering, that's why. (Incidentally, if you're on Twitter, my username is, unsurprisingly, xifeng. If you want me to follow you thereon in a creepy, stalkerish manner and I'm not already doing so, do let me know.) For whatever reason, I'm not getting tweets from some of you; no doubt Twitter is malfunctioning or something.

Last night, ran around to libraries (didn't go to Bloomington as originally planned, but I'm off Saturday so I might do it then, weather permitting). Got home at 8:30 and was surprised to find that the lolmom was not there; on examining voicemail, complete with several panicky messages, the following saga unfolded.

Lolmom: o hai iz me. i r @ w0rk. car iz ded. i haz it towed. plz come pix me up DDDD:
l33: *is at the library; comes home*
Lolmom: iz me again. plz dnot maek me spend nite @ w0rk DDDD:
l33: OFUX. DDDD: *dials lolmom at work*
Lolmom: o hai. i cans come home nau? :D
l33: OH GOD. I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T TAKE THE PHONE WITH ME.
Lolmom: iz ok. plz u pix me up nau? kthx. :DDDD

And so I undertook the Voyage To The Center Of Nowhere in order to pick her up.

(Random fun fact: The lolmom has a degree in English and doesn't actually talk like this, but sometimes our conversations verge so much on the WTF that I feel compelled to represent her in Netspeak. I mentioned that she's sort of like my blog mascot-cute, lovable, occasionally bumbling-and she asked if she had a cute cartoon avatar. I said no, I usually use :D and D: to represent her as necessary.)

We're not sure what's wrong with the car. Mom said it wouldn't start at all, and when she called someone to come jump it for her, he was unable to do so (either with the battery pack or with jumper cables); the battery's only a year old and shouldn't need to be replaced for some time to come. Oddly, she had lights and radio, which isn't consistent with a battery issue. She's had intermittent problems with getting the car to heat (the heating system has extracted concessions from her but shows no signs of actually capitulating). We're really hoping it can be fixed easily, because we're in no position to buy another car.

Tomorrow is 2009! It's a SHINY NEW YEAR which I haven't managed to dork up yet. (Wait.)

Kiss my ass, 2008.