lol i am r iz b teh zombie l33

[xifeng]

I was dropping H a line to tell him where I was, and it's almost 3 a.m. and I'm back from my dinner with Joy (let's just say that there are several layers of drama involved, which I'm not going to go into), and I'm just incredibly coked out between engaging in hovering behavior vis-a-vis a sick m0mmy, trying to think of something to write that does not contain the word "beetgoblin", and having spent a couple-three hours reading, so long story short, I am sure the e-mail I sent H made no sense whatsoever, and for God knows what reason I almost wrote, "Love you bye" at the end.

Thankfully, I restrained myself, and thus, Disaster Is Averted (tm). Hee hee durhhh lol.

Comments

[forgottensanity.livejournal.com]

On behalf of the Beetgoblin Organisation I must insist that you cease and desist this ongoing crusade against beetgoblins. Beetgoblins are not, nor have they ever been, associated with [your hated organisation of choice] and they regret to learn that you still harbour bad feelings towards them. If you do not stop this behaviour, Beetgoblin Organisation see no other choice than to take further action against you. This will include mallets and dark alleys.

- THE MANAGEMENT

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

Actually, the mallet-and-dark-alley thing sounds pretty typical of beetgoblins in this story I'm writing. In the fictional world, at least, the beetgoblins deserve their bad rap.

[forgottensanity.livejournal.com]

Ah-HAH! Clearly, you are mistaking the fictive beetgoblings for the real ones. This merely proves my point that you are Out To Get Them (tm). I am informing our Human Rights consultant to discuss the best course of action. You are clearly in violation of various amendments to the American and the Beet Constitution, as well as the Beetville Treaty signed under Kennedy.

Again, I urge you to cease these actions now lest I be forced to sue you in court. I instead urge you to refer to the real beetgoblins as "beetgoblins" and the fictive ones as "beetgooblins", which sounds more mephistophelian as it is.

Also, I will in court raise concern about the existence of these fictive characters. I have not yet received proof that they exist, and if you are indeed lying or in denial about the existence of fictional characters, I find it best for everyone involved to have you committed at Beetgroop Mental Institution where the beetgoblins will - at great expense to themselves - ensure that you will no longer be able to harm society.

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

But Cat (or Caat, if you prefer, since I suspect strongly that I am talking to Evil Robot Clone Cat). I invented the beetgoblins. I am allowed to do whatever I want to them, INCLUDING SMASH THEM ALL INTO DELICIOUS BEET PASTE WITH A GIANT HAMMER.

Also, I don't know where you plan to sue me, but I am pretty sure that this is a prime example of a frivolous lawsuit which will almost certainly be thrown out on its ass, as it deserves. :D

[forgottensanity.livejournal.com]

Merely inventing something does not make it lawful to harm it in any way. With those words you are in fact conspiring to commit mass beetgoblin murder which is a criminal offence according to Section 74, § 192b. Also, your insinuation to turn the beetgoblins into (quote) "delicious beet paste" raises the concern of cannibalism, which is also illegal except in extreme circumstances such as The Plane That Has Gone Down In A Dark And Cold Place and I Am Hungry But Too Lazy To Get Something From The Kitchen But My Mother-In-Law Is Sleeping In The Chair Next To Me Looking Fat And Plump.

And the lawsuit will NOT be dismissed as frivolous because I shall raise it in beetgoblin court and they have much tougher laws. For the offence of telemarketing you get eaten by robots.

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

*explains patiently* But Cat. I created the beetgoblins. Therefore, I am allowed to destroy them. Also, it is hardly cannibalism if I refer to the beetgoblins as delicious, since I myself am not a beetgoblin, so it is not barbaric for me to threaten them with a thorough eatinating.

Mmmm, beetgoblin salad. And beetgoblin soup, and beetgoblin stew, and borshch fairly brimming with delicious beetgoblins...♥

However, any court system wherein telemarketers are eaten is a good one.

[momo.livejournal.com]

Spleen plz? ;_;

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

*is teh Spleen Nazi*

NO SPLNZ 4 U. XO