Grownups Never Get To Have Any Fun
May. 26th, 2008 01:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xifengPreliminary announcement: My domain registration just expired, so the proverbial e-mail wasn't working for a bit in there. I just renewed it and it's now back up and running. If you tried to e-mail me, or wonder why I didn't respond to your comments, that's the deal.
For God knows what reason, I keep getting these Fingerhut catalogues in the mail. I don't buy things from Fingerhut. I have never bought anything from Fingerhut, and yet they arrive regularly, every two or three months, with a biohazard orange cover and giant letters informing me that THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST CATALOGUE, [Lee's Full Name]. If I never hear from them again, I'll be surprised.
Anyway, Fingerhut wants me to take out a credit account with them (like I don't have enough credit cards I'm trying to pay off), which would be fair enough if a.) I wanted any more debt, and b.) Fingerhut actually sold anything I really want. Except I was surfing through it last night, just to make sure there wasn't anything I really wanted, and there was the greatest backyard toy EVAR right there.
Dude. AN INFLATABLE PIRATE SHIP. WITH GUNS THAT SHOOT WATER. AND AN INFLATABLE TREASURE CHEST, AND INFLATABLE PIRATE HATS.
Tragically, however, it does not seem to have been made for people the size of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dethorats and me, though treyvadi could possibly still pull it off. Also, if X-chan were here with her ¾ ton pickup, we could put it in the bed and drive around, pillaging shiny new SUVs at red lights just for the hell of it. Because nothing makes yuppie scum madder than having to try and reason with you while you're wearing an inflatable pirate hat, especially if you’ve already got at least 15 or 20 IQ points on them.
We'll have to do that sometime, just as soon as I get the other credit cards paid off.
(PSA: Apparently, real piracy is Srs Bsns. Don't try this at home, kids! This has been Lee's Half-Baked Moment of Peripheral Civic Duty.)
For God knows what reason, I keep getting these Fingerhut catalogues in the mail. I don't buy things from Fingerhut. I have never bought anything from Fingerhut, and yet they arrive regularly, every two or three months, with a biohazard orange cover and giant letters informing me that THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST CATALOGUE, [Lee's Full Name]. If I never hear from them again, I'll be surprised.
Anyway, Fingerhut wants me to take out a credit account with them (like I don't have enough credit cards I'm trying to pay off), which would be fair enough if a.) I wanted any more debt, and b.) Fingerhut actually sold anything I really want. Except I was surfing through it last night, just to make sure there wasn't anything I really wanted, and there was the greatest backyard toy EVAR right there.
Dude. AN INFLATABLE PIRATE SHIP. WITH GUNS THAT SHOOT WATER. AND AN INFLATABLE TREASURE CHEST, AND INFLATABLE PIRATE HATS.
Tragically, however, it does not seem to have been made for people the size of
dethorats and me, though treyvadi could possibly still pull it off. Also, if X-chan were here with her ¾ ton pickup, we could put it in the bed and drive around, pillaging shiny new SUVs at red lights just for the hell of it. Because nothing makes yuppie scum madder than having to try and reason with you while you're wearing an inflatable pirate hat, especially if you’ve already got at least 15 or 20 IQ points on them.We'll have to do that sometime, just as soon as I get the other credit cards paid off.
(PSA: Apparently, real piracy is Srs Bsns. Don't try this at home, kids! This has been Lee's Half-Baked Moment of Peripheral Civic Duty.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 07:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 07:34 pm (UTC)It's amazing how you see this stuff that you didn't even know existed and now all of a sudden YOUR LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT IT OMG. *g*
no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 08:05 am (UTC)Why has the world graced us with such a marvelous thing but then placed in a realm beyond our scale? Think of the havock we could cause! Think of the pools we could terrorize, the drainage ponds we could rule, the (brilliant I must say) citizens we could merrily pillage at every stop sign! It is my right to be a pirate (I have a tattoo and everything) and I demand my inflatable goods to be in my size. Now Fingerhut has been placed on the LIST (tm). They will not know the wonderful grace and providence of my patronage for this grave insult.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 07:53 pm (UTC)I have always wanted to be scurrilous and swashbuckling, and piracy is the perfect career choice for this sort of thing! XD (Also, I will have a tattoo as soon as I finish paying Lyd for the design, so obviously it is MEANT TO BE.) And in what other line of work do you get to say "Arrr!" and "Avast!" all the time?
Fingerhut will likewise never see one red cent of my money, because a.) other than the pirate ship, they really don't carry anything I want, and b.) their name sounds kind of dirty. XD
no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 09:37 am (UTC)the pirate ship sounds awesome...
no subject
Date: 2008-05-26 08:39 pm (UTC)And yes. Inflatable piracy rules! :D
no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-28 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-01 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 03:25 am (UTC)