The Dangerous Existence of Madame Lee

m0mmy: Halloween! :D
l33: Jesus Christ. >___<
m0mmy: Halloween!!! *carves pumpkin*
l33: *escapes to guest room; eats popcorn; watches old MST3K episodes*
m0mmy: Halloween!!!!
Doorbell: *rings*
m0mmy: YAY!!!! TRICK-OR-TREATERS!!!!! *distributes candy*
l33: *is still a little bitter about the cool original b&w Mummy with Boris Karloff--you know, the one that's ACTUALLY SCARY*
m0mmy: I have to pee. :D *hands l33 basket of candy*
l33: You're spending your retirement in the Leon Valley Lodge*, then. >\
Doorbell: *rings*
Anklebiters: TRICK-OR-TREAT!!!!!!!1111
l33: *distributes candy; attempts to fake enthusiasm* Oh, my. Look at all the scary little...uh, look, the costumes are great and all, but I can't think of anything as scary as the prospect of Sen. John Hostettler (R-IN)** spending another term in office.
m0mmy: *re-emerges several hellish minutes later*

You may be wondering why I didn't show enough restraint to wait until the night was over before writing this post. The answer is simple: this is what happens every year.


*The Leon Valley Lodge is a nursing home located in scenic Leon Valley, Texas, or possibly San Antonio. (You can't really tell where one ends and the other begins.) When we lived in Texas, Mom taught the seventh-grade religious ed class and their service project was visiting the elderly. I'm sure all nursing homes are equally depressing, but this struck me as a classic of the genre.

**I'm not taking pot-shots at Senator Hostettler because he's a Republican. (Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a liberal.) I'm mocking him because of an incident involving a loaded gun, the Henderson airport, and double standards. :D