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xifengSo I went Christmas shopping today, which was just perfect because everybody of course wants to drive around in the rain and stand in line for hours and hours and hours. On the other hand, at least I took care of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dethorats' Christmas presents (heh heh heh, I done took care of Price real good) and X-chan. That's the plus side of giving yourself permission to stop when Christmas shopping isn't fun anymore.
Also, I had an eggnog latte made of WIN and finished a couple of books, so yay.
Oh, and I was very restrained when I got to Best Buy, because not only did I not buyduokinneas some adorable Hello Kitty swag, but I also did not buy a couple of anime DVDs which were, basically, tales of Edo-period horror involving the Goblin Cat and the one about the samurai who poisons his wife. (You know the story; the one where he poisons his wife so he can marry another girl who would be a better alliance but the poison backfires and disfigures the wife and she's so demoralized she dies and then she haunts him for aeons. I'm too lazy to go Wikifag it right now, so that's all you get if you don't already know the story.) This was tremendously restrained for me, since as you know I think the presence of a samurai automatically constitutes Great Art. A samurai could have saved Ishtar. And Bratz: The Movie.
Because it's That Time Of Year:
1.) "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" (Boris Karloff). There's something about this song that makes me think it must have been fun to record, and the mental images just crack me up. Also, "a sauerkraut-and-toadstool sandwich" and "your heart is full of unwashed socks" are rather apt descriptors of my inner workings, too.
2.) "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing". This is largely due mostly to the line in the second or third verse, "Veiled in flesh/the Godhead see". As an adult, I understand that this is a reference to the theology wherein God becomes man and all that. As a kid, being rather more literal-minded, I thought it was a reference to the veils worn by Roman brides; they were a reddish-orange color and would have looked somewhat fleshtone to modern eyes. I've carried the mental image of Jesus in a Roman bride's getup ever since, which is probably exhibit #11677Q-A15 in Why Lee Is Going To Hell.
3.) "Snoopy's Christmas" (The Royal Guardsmen). Yeah, it's a novelty hit, but it amuses, and plus it's got a reference to the Christmas armistice in WWI. What's not to like?
4.) "Sleigh Ride". I've lived all my life in places where we get a lot of snow, and before people get out and drive all over it, it does indeed look like a print from Currier and Ives. Southern Indiana, even today, is still predominantly rural; though I live in the Evansville area, you don't have to go too far out to hit farmland.
5.) "I Am Santa Claus" (Bob Rivers). This is a glorious parody of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, and features such verses as "How much does he weigh?/How can the reindeer pull his sleigh?" I haven't heard it since we moved from San Antonio, but if I catch it on WABX, I'll crank it all the way up.
6.) "Father Christmas" (The Kinks). Screw "Jingle Bell Rock". You want a Christmas rock song? This is it. It doesn't get nearly enough radio play, either.
7.) "Silver Bells". I know it's a bit maudlin, but there's something about it that I like. I can't put my finger on it.
8.) The Alleluia Chorus from The Messiah (Handel). I'm fond of this because it's great music in and of itself, but it also reminds me of a scene from the book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, when after hearing the entire "Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God, Prince of Peace" sequence rattled off, Imogene Herdman says, "My God! He'd never get out of first grade if he had to write all that!"
9.) "We Three Kings". Admittedly, when I was growing up, the popular lyrics began "We three kings of Orient are / Tried to smoke a rubber cigar / It was loaded, it explooooded...". The most surreal version of the real lyrics that I've ever heard was sung by the Beach Boys, I swear to God, in absolutely funereal tones. It was as weird as it sounds.
10.) "Twisted Chipmunk Song" (Bob Rivers). Wow, two by Bob Rivers. I don't care; I loathe the Chipmunks and their goddamn Christmas song, and I find this a far more enjoyable version, the more so since thinking about Alvin--excuse me, Melvin--with an ear growing out of his back is pretty funny.
dethorats' Christmas presents (heh heh heh, I done took care of Price real good) and X-chan. That's the plus side of giving yourself permission to stop when Christmas shopping isn't fun anymore.Also, I had an eggnog latte made of WIN and finished a couple of books, so yay.
Oh, and I was very restrained when I got to Best Buy, because not only did I not buy
duokinneas some adorable Hello Kitty swag, but I also did not buy a couple of anime DVDs which were, basically, tales of Edo-period horror involving the Goblin Cat and the one about the samurai who poisons his wife. (You know the story; the one where he poisons his wife so he can marry another girl who would be a better alliance but the poison backfires and disfigures the wife and she's so demoralized she dies and then she haunts him for aeons. I'm too lazy to go Wikifag it right now, so that's all you get if you don't already know the story.) This was tremendously restrained for me, since as you know I think the presence of a samurai automatically constitutes Great Art. A samurai could have saved Ishtar. And Bratz: The Movie.Because it's That Time Of Year:
1.) "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" (Boris Karloff). There's something about this song that makes me think it must have been fun to record, and the mental images just crack me up. Also, "a sauerkraut-and-toadstool sandwich" and "your heart is full of unwashed socks" are rather apt descriptors of my inner workings, too.
2.) "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing". This is largely due mostly to the line in the second or third verse, "Veiled in flesh/the Godhead see". As an adult, I understand that this is a reference to the theology wherein God becomes man and all that. As a kid, being rather more literal-minded, I thought it was a reference to the veils worn by Roman brides; they were a reddish-orange color and would have looked somewhat fleshtone to modern eyes. I've carried the mental image of Jesus in a Roman bride's getup ever since, which is probably exhibit #11677Q-A15 in Why Lee Is Going To Hell.
3.) "Snoopy's Christmas" (The Royal Guardsmen). Yeah, it's a novelty hit, but it amuses, and plus it's got a reference to the Christmas armistice in WWI. What's not to like?
4.) "Sleigh Ride". I've lived all my life in places where we get a lot of snow, and before people get out and drive all over it, it does indeed look like a print from Currier and Ives. Southern Indiana, even today, is still predominantly rural; though I live in the Evansville area, you don't have to go too far out to hit farmland.
5.) "I Am Santa Claus" (Bob Rivers). This is a glorious parody of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, and features such verses as "How much does he weigh?/How can the reindeer pull his sleigh?" I haven't heard it since we moved from San Antonio, but if I catch it on WABX, I'll crank it all the way up.
6.) "Father Christmas" (The Kinks). Screw "Jingle Bell Rock". You want a Christmas rock song? This is it. It doesn't get nearly enough radio play, either.
7.) "Silver Bells". I know it's a bit maudlin, but there's something about it that I like. I can't put my finger on it.
8.) The Alleluia Chorus from The Messiah (Handel). I'm fond of this because it's great music in and of itself, but it also reminds me of a scene from the book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, when after hearing the entire "Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God, Prince of Peace" sequence rattled off, Imogene Herdman says, "My God! He'd never get out of first grade if he had to write all that!"
9.) "We Three Kings". Admittedly, when I was growing up, the popular lyrics began "We three kings of Orient are / Tried to smoke a rubber cigar / It was loaded, it explooooded...". The most surreal version of the real lyrics that I've ever heard was sung by the Beach Boys, I swear to God, in absolutely funereal tones. It was as weird as it sounds.
10.) "Twisted Chipmunk Song" (Bob Rivers). Wow, two by Bob Rivers. I don't care; I loathe the Chipmunks and their goddamn Christmas song, and I find this a far more enjoyable version, the more so since thinking about Alvin--excuse me, Melvin--with an ear growing out of his back is pretty funny.
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-09 03:01 pm (UTC)Joy to the world, the teacher's dead.
We bar-be-cued her head.
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty.
And round and round it goes.
And round and round it goe.
Lyrics (C) Nelson Muntz.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-10 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-10 06:27 am (UTC)Silver Bells, while maudlin, is also somewhat haunting. Plus it's damn fun to play on the piano. As I've gotten older, and more metal, Trans-Siberian Orchestra holds an ever-greater appeal for me - at least in terms of metal-tinged instrumentals. Wizard in Winter just...rocks.
O Come All Ye Faithful, especially in Latin, also holds a weird place in my heart even though I am about as far from ye faithful as one can get.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-13 01:05 am (UTC)Trans-Siberian Orchestra is awesome. :D
O Come All Ye Faithful doesn't do much for me as an adult, but I was made to endure it
shoutedsung by a church packed to the brims with Catholics (and we aren't known for our beautiful singing voices XD) in English and mangled Latin, so that's probably my bias.Psycho Christmas Carols
Date: 2007-12-10 03:12 pm (UTC)Deck The Halls
Deck the halls with gasoline
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
Strike a match and watch it gleam
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
Watch your school go down in ashes
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't you glad you play with matches
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
Randoloh the Shot-gun Cowboy
Randolph the shot-gun cowboy
Had a Very shiny gun
And if you every saw it
You would drop your pants and run
All of the other cowboys
used to laugh and call him names
The never let poor Randolph
Join in any poker games
Then on foggy Saturday night
The Sheriff came to say,
"Randolph with your gun so bright
Won't you shoot my wife tonight."
Then how the cowboys loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Randoloh the shot-gun cowboy,
You'll go down in history."
Those are all I can come up with for now. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. *^___^*
Re: Psycho Christmas Carols
Date: 2007-12-13 01:27 am (UTC)Of course, who could forget that timeless classic
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells (http://www.robweir.com/blog/2006/01/jingle-bells-batman-smells.html)?
no subject
Date: 2007-12-13 07:27 am (UTC)I loathe Christmas songs by now; I think only the religious ones can appeal to me anymore, thanks to way too much time at work, hearing the more publicly acceptable ones blaring at us on the Muzak. If I hear Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, or Here Comes Santa Claus one more time, I'm gonna cleave some heads from shoulders.
I really hate Silver Bells, too. Sorry. I just like Carol of the Bells better, provided it's done right and there isn't annoying, tinny singing accompanying the actual bells.
The closest I get to a favorite one right now is your number one choice, 'cause I'm as charming as an eel when it comes to this horrid, nasty season of commercialism.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-14 02:39 am (UTC)but these have samurai, so they're Triumphs Of Cinematic Art.I can understand why anyone might dislike "Silver Bells", so it doesn't offend me that you do. Though "Carol of the Bells" is pretty good, if it's instrumental and we're not subjected to tinny singing.
"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" grates on my nerves (X-chan likes it, but I'm not sure if this is because she likes it for its own sake or because she knows it annoys me). I really hate that song about the kid who wants to buy his mommy a pair of shoes so she'll look pretty when she dances with Jesus (I am not making this song up, though I couldn't tell you the title or artist; I swear it is a real song), though. Talk about EXTREME GLURGE!.
Oh, so am I; the commercialism's bad enough, and then there's my Deep And Mournful Angst and all that jazz. Although the presence of a little pink seahorse, as ever, causes my small heart to grow three sizes. ^___^ ♥