Shit, I Hate My Feet

[xifeng]

So I went to buy some workplace-appropriate flats, since lolmom is tired of my snaffling hers (apparently I "stretch them out" or something) and even though I can wear jeans to work, I can't wear sneakers. Thus, my excursion to Shoe Carnival.

I should mention here that, while I like shoes, I hate shopping for shoes. There are a multitude of reasons for this.


1.) There are these fucking deformed freaks who have arches in their feet. (Oh, yeah, that's a real evolutionary advantage. You can just arch on away to safety when the saber-toothed tiger comes! Good luck with that, deformed freaks.) I am all for being nice to the deformed freaks since they cannot help their malformed feet. However, I object to the fact that shoes are apparently only designed and sold with deformed freaks in mind and not meant for normal people with no arches. (This is an evolutionary advantage because otherwise they would have collapsed when I was working at Lol-Mart and standing for 4-8 hours every day.)

2.) My feet are a normal size that isn't difficult to find, but they are wide. This is more difficult to find shoes for than you might think. Also, it is the policy of Shoe Carnival to put at least fifty percent of the shoes I might want to try on directly above my head, sandwiched under five other boxes that will all promptly collapse and bury me if I try to get the one box I do want.

3.) The two smallest toes on each of my feet are malformed. (Which I guess makes me a deformed freak too. But at least I don't have arches in my feet.) The deformity is congenital, not the result of an injury, so there's not a whole lot I can do about it. (I hate my feet, to be honest, and if I thought I could get the insurance to cover it, I would have the two smallest toes fixed surgically, but since they don't interfere with my being able to walk, I doubt I'd have much success there.) You can see Photographic Documentation here (third picture down).

4.) All the workplace-appropriate shoes are kinda boring. Also, I had trouble finding ones I like in black (I do not really like brown very much, and it goes with fewer things).

5.) The first pair of shoes I tried on pinched my toes. Ow.

Eventually, however, I was able to find a pair that didn't pinch my toes and felt a lot better on. Also, it was not aesthetically offensive to me. (These shoes aren't for showing off; they're just for wearing to work. Nobody's going to see them or take much notice of them, other than to confirm that I'm not wearing sneakers, sandals, or stripper heels.)

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Now I just need new jeans and new bras. (In real life, I don't wear one, but we must all make sacrifices for the workplace. Besides, I have 128 hours in the week to not wear one.)


And then I went to the grocery store and spent $21 on fish yay. I should really have bought the frozen grouper, both cost-wise and because I could have gotten more, but I WANTED FRESH. Also, tried and failed to find tea for lolmom (Lol-Mart is all out of Twinings' English Breakfast, and so is Schnucks).

In other news, and to appease the many of you who only read my journal to learn how the kit is doing:

Oliver found his favorite ball (it looks like a crumpled-up piece of foil, and I had to remind lolmom not to throw it away) under the china cabinet. He has been playing happily with it all evening, until he got a little overzealous in one corner of the dining room and knocked the phone off the side table, which triggered a frantic run into the living room at top speed. Also, his default mode is "I'm so cute! Rub my tummy!", which is adorable most of the time but doesn't work so well for those special times when I'm trying to take food into the house. He just had his shots, and now he shouldn't need to see the vet for a year, unless he concusses himself knocking things over.

My moral dilemma persists at a medium pace. This won't resolve it, but it would probably be an antisocial act for me to give J an ulcer by not writing, so I'd better get on that.

l33 out.

Comments

[daturabelle.livejournal.com]

i have feet issues as well.
i have short toes. that means the widest part of my foot is in the wrong place therefore the size that actually fits me length wise, is usually too narrow. and those that fit me width wise are usually too long.
so, you're not alone out there... means when i'm home, i usually don't wear shoes.
i have found success with birkenstocks, although they are expensive...
good luck!

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

Oh, that can't be fun. @_@; Nobody should have to stuff their shoes to get through life! D: I don't usually wear shoes at home, either, unless I'm cleaning or doing something that requires cursory foot protection. (This used to drive my father crazy, lo these many years ago. My father apparently missed the memo that he was the only diabetic in the family and the rest of us could run around barefoot if we wanted.)

I like Easy Spirits and New Balance, though I have no idea if they're US-only brands, but Birkenstocks are good stuff, too. Hopefully, this pair will work out for me!

[dethorats]

XD I too am in the hunt for appropriate work wear and shoes. I do have the ability to wear my sandals to work, however I can only wear jeans 2 days out of 4 and must dress up the other 2. My sandals don't cut it then. I too have no arches (what is this arch that you speak of?) and also have wide feet. My left foot has a rather severe bunion that makes even most wide-width shoes very uncomfortable. So, yeah, no luck for me yet. I have, however, discovered Rider shirts at your evil ex's that do quite well with trousers for my workplace.

Glad to see you back online!

And for people just starting to try and eat fish, what would you recommend for grilling on a Foreman: Salmon, Tilapia, or Cod?

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you were flat-footed, too! (You'd think I would, really. Then again, DUDE LOOK AT MY FUCKED-UP FEET was not a conversation we had a lot growing up. XD) I have no idea how the People of the Arch walk on their deformed feet. Also why am I not surprised that you are bunion-ridden, though I imagine that totally sucks ass. At least you can find workplace-appropriate shirts, though. (Always important. I understand that any suggestion of b00bz is considered offensive for God knows what reason. Seriously, at my workplace, the men's dress code is all like, DON'T HAVE SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR OR WEAR T-SHIRTS THAT SAY "PARTY NAKED", and the women's dress code is all FEMALE EMPLOYEES MUST WEAR THIS COMPANY-PROVIDED BURQA.)

Thank you! I am glad to return. Of course, now I have no music, but it's a small price to pay for the Int0rtubes.

HOKAI IT'S TIME FOR A DISSERTATION ON FISH. XD I have never used a Foreman--we've always had a regular charcoal grill, so your mileage may vary. I'd suggest salmon, for several reasons:

a.) It's a fattier fish and thus will not lose as much moisture in the cooking. Nobody wants a dry, inedible Plank O' Fish. Not even me.
b.) It has a stronger flavor (...I don't really know how to put this in a way that sounds less off-putting to non-pescetarians, but salmon has a more distinctive flavor than most of your white fish) and doesn't need much to make it taste good.
c.) Supposedly, salmon is The Fish That People Who Don't Like Fish like. I have not field-tested the veracity of this statement; when people tell me they don't like fish, I tend to take them at their word and cook something else.

STUFF THAT MIGHT HELP:
+ Unlike beef and chicken, you don't have to thaw fish. (If it's fresh and you've just refrigerated it, it's best to cook it within 24 hours; any longer and you really need to freeze it.) It will need to cook for longer, but doesn't need to thaw completely.
+ You absolutely don't want to overcook it. My litmus test is to poke it in the middle, as you would with a cake, and see if it's still raw or not. In the oven, the rule of thumb is 10 minutes for every inch of thickness; you'll want to fiddle with this to make sure it's getting cooked all the way through, but you don't want to cook it for half an hour (unless you have a 3-inch-thick slab, in which case I'll be right over because NOM NOM NOM). The grill should be about comparable. (I haven't grilled anything in 6 months; I use a grill pan in the winter XD) Basically, it should flake easily but not disintegrate all over the place and resist forking.
+ You might want to consider marinading (it's seriously not hard at all) or brushing the fish with olive oil to keep it from drying out on the grill.
+ Herbs that go well: Rosemary (which, seriously, goes well with everything) and dill. A small amount of kosher salt (seriously, no more than like half a teaspoon) will also do wonders.

Tilapia is more a generic whitefish; you can grill it but you'll probably want more in the way of flavor enhancers, because it's a bit unremarkable in and of itself. I like cod best as fish and chips, myself.

Hope this helps ♥

[song-of-copper.livejournal.com]

Urgh, shoe-shopping. :-( I swear all shoes are designed for some Platonic Pair of Feet that only exists as a theoretical construct in the minds of shoe designers. ;-P I offend by having slightly-narrow feet (too narrow for normal shoes, not narrow enough for specialist shoes) and a deformed big toe. ;-D (ETA: and no arches too!! Not just me then... ;-P)

Having said that, at least we have Clarks (not sure if they are in the USA too) - not the cheapest but at least you can get ok-looking flats that fit well enough, and don't wear out for a few years. They even seem to keep some styles for several seasons, which is great. It's such a shame when you have a favourite pair that you can't replace because fashion has changed too much.

Hooray for not wearing bras, too! >_<

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

My new pair will be comfy once they're properly broken in, but they're not broken in yet; like most flat-footed people, I tend to overpronate and there is some side rubbing, which really got to me this afternoon when I was pulling files. I finally sat down and spent the rest of the afternoon checking legal descriptions, and discreetly kicked off my shoes under the desk ;D

And yes, shoes are designed with a suppositious Platonic Ideal Of Feet in mind. I suppose I knew intellectually that some people had narrow feet, but it just never really occurred to me. I wish mine were narrower, but you win some, you lose some. At least I'm not club-footed or anything. We may actually have Clarks here--I'm not sure, but I think I've heard of them. :D

Oh, bras are a whole 'nother story. I can assure you from personal experience that not all fat women are bosomy--even at my heaviest, I've never worn above a C-cup--and it is a source of constant annoyance to be asked whether it isn't uncomfortable to go without. OH THE AGONY OF NOT WEARING AN ELASTIC SLING AROUND MY TORSO. Also, I do wear a hard-to-fit size there and it is a struggle to find it even at stores that cater to fat women.

Womanhood is overrated, really.